structure: the ad agency

as a client, i have many suppliers. but my favorite among these is the ad agency. they can do so much for me for only so little money. they can even help me cheat the government by forcing them to bill me under a false company that i declare bankrupt at the end of every fiscal year.

so in this post, allow me to share the structure of the ad agency.

like my marketing team, the ad agency also has its own hierarchy, so let's start at the top and dissect them into their roles.

the top executives - they are the partners, presidents, general managers. some have their surnames on the agency stationery as affixes to initials of worldwide agency networks. this fact doesn't mean a thing, they are still my suppliers ready to do my bidding. they will lick my hand and polish my boots when i tell them to. some are big shot creatives, star accounts, stellar planners. once upon a time. most if not all who get to this level are the has beens who have long ago lost their touch and are now just nourishing their fragile egos, closeting their homosexuality, raking in their pay. i always give them a levelheaded treatment, or so they think. i even make them believe that we are friends, all the more so i can squeeze favors even out of business hours. in the end, it's all about how they can serve me.

the middle managers - they are the senior people in the agency and can be divided into:

• account management (head of account/business unit director/account supervisor)

they do all the hard work. especially in sucking up. i always look for an account person who would not hesitate to sing and dance, and if it comes to it, drop her skirt and thong for me. believe me, some of the most senior ones in the account department suck ass as if it's the only thing they're good at. and most of the time, they are right. all the better as they are just suppliers.

• creative (creative director/associate creative director)

they also do all the hard work. they think of ideas i can never come up with. what i most love about them is that they are just little kids. it is so easy to break their hearts. i always make it a point to turn down the idea that they are most passionate about just to see the look on their faces.

• planning (head of planning, senior planner)

i will say this honestly: i have no idea what is it they do. especially that every brief i turn over to the agency is already perfect.

the juniors -  from whatever department, these i hold in contempt like my customers. i believe that they are worthless and just gaining some experience from my brands. i never meet their eyes, never talk to them, they don't exist and are not worthy to be in my presence. unless of course they can drive me to the shoot location or buy me an expensive bottle of wine, that's why we have junior account executives, don't we?